It’s not unusual to have a complicated relationship with your parents. Just like you, your parents are only human, subject to the same reactions and emotions. But where do we draw the line so that we call it toxic?
Parenting is an obligation that comes out of choice. Some people are really good at it and the outcome is execellent but still yet some parents have let their emotions get the best of them
. I term that toxic p
arenting. What do we mean by being toxic?
My understanding of being toxic is when you keep hurting someone either intentionally or unintentionally but they continue loving you hoping that you might one day change but because you don’t everyone tries to run away from you.
Now here comes the truth not all of us can take… parents
dont know their kids as much as they are convinced they do. I believe it’s because most of us have been raised by toxic parents and our opinions on certain things will never count. What you don’t know is that strict parenting raises angry kids who with time loose interest in pleasing their parents. Too many parents wonder why their kids aren
t honest with them, and never realize their own non-receptive behaviour and their failure to listen are the resons why.
Okay I know most parents are strict in the name of “I’m protecting you” but I’d tell you congratulations coz now you have a kid that lies to you 24/7, never opens up, and is anxious all the time about wrong things they do and scared that it’ll never be fixed and forgivable. Parents maybe knowingly or unknowingly say the most hurtful shit to their kids and still wonder why they are disrespectful. Just because you are a parent doesnt mean you get to be maliciously cruel with your mouth because you know your child wont retaliate.
Parents will literally ruin their relationship with their own children all because they don’t know how to apologize and admit when they are wrong. Like I mean nobody is going to admire you as a parent if you make them feel like shit. You are supposed to boost your kid’s self esteem up not to shatter it. Then again dear parents
, STOP getting in your kids’ faces talking about all you did for them. Bought clothes for them? Kept a roof over their heads? Fed them when they were hungry? That’s your job!!! You took that responsibility the moment you decided to be a parent.
Its insane how parents would pour out their anger on you ending up ruining your day and pretend like they didn’t really ruin your day and still wonder why you are in a bad mood and as if not enough, they get mad at you for being moody! Unbelievable right? I often used to get into conversations with my mom and wheb she would get frustrated with my opposing opinion, she would scream at me to stop yelling at her even though she was the one who was screaming in the first place and I never really got to understand that until now.I can understand
s life. So what y’all need to get is that at a certain point when your kid is a teenage, they need some personal space and the power to choose what they certainly would want for their own life and maybe just be a good listener and give them pep talks and small advices and corrrections and support their idea at the end of the day. Do you have the slightest idea that your little boy or girl cries at night with their face buried because you are a parent.
Stop wondering why we have street kids everywhere, most of them have parents but they just could not take it anymore and it’s sad you know.
It won’t harm to change. Don’t make your kid suicidal. Don’t make your kid wish you were dead. Don’t change your kid
s perspective on what parental love is supposed to mean. Just try your best to understand them from a different angle and you’ll surely get the love you deserve not the love that they are obliged to give you just because you are a parent.